Today...

 Today is a good day. Today is the day I realised again for the million time that I am one god damn lucky guy. And the feeling can`t be described in any possible word. Today was the day I dreamed, I accomplished, I felt, I saw, I realised, I drove fast, and I ran away. From it. Not from myself tho. But from whatever wasn`t worth it at the time being. 

 Today is the first day I remembered what my dad used to say - and I fully understood why. It was the first day when I missed it all, and the last day when I hoped for a perfect future. Why would it be perfect? It`s great just the way it is. Can be better, I sure like to think so, but it`s more than enough now.

 Today I looked into their eyes and I saw what I wanted to see, but not what I expected. It didn`t occure to me not in a lifetime of thinking that it would be possible, but there it is, standing in front of me, defying and conquering me with the thoughts, feelings, emotions, whatever imaginable or unimaginable dream. Yet in a very good way. The fact that I still don`t know how to react? Does it matter? Time will tell.

 But today is not a good day to take a decision as reguards... anything. Not now, not here, not in this mood. Because the mood today is - as always - happy and optimistic. And I am not responsible for my acts, nor am I certain of what is going to happen, or when. And even if I do decide to take any action, more or less important, I`ll just close my eyes, and do it. Reguardless of the consequences.

 But something changed. The need got stronger, the motivations higher, and the desire to change all the wrong things - close to perfection.

 Today is the day my old wings grew and spread just like the old days. And it was the first day of the incoming rest. The day that I felt again pleased with myself, ignoring all the bullshit behind. The day I pretended nothing happened, but remembered everything like it was five seconds ago. The day I felt again how is it to be ready to conquer the worlds, the high skies, and the deap seas. What reasons did I have?... Was it the clear sky? The warmth of the sun? The untouched hand? Whatever might be, I will not try to understand. Instead I will let it all invade me and set me free from the darkness of the long lost winter.

 Today is again my first spring day, and the last day of coldness, the first day when my sun shone more beautiful than ever, and the last day I dreamed of being beside it when it does.. Because I know I am already. And even if I don`t know for sure, I just pretend to believe that my sunshine will again rise from the lost sea, or from behind the coldest mountain, in the unforseen desire to conquer my world. And again, today is a good day to feel the cozyness of it`s embrace. However immaterial that would be.

 Today is a good day to give away the lack of inspiration. And instead try to inspire the uninspired. Because that was my undefined purpose all this time, but I lacked the courage and I missed the reasons and certainty to do it.

 Today was the day I felt the need to write in my soul-language, not in the hope that many won`t understand, but in the strange feeling that it`s way much better to do it this way. Today i laughed without having a certain purpose, I confessed without needing any words, and I tried to give strenght to whoever needed just by looking at them, knowing they would feel the intention, the unseen spark and the unspeakable feelings in my eyes.

 Today was... A good day!

 And I have no reasonable explanation for this post, nor do I search for one. I just felt the need to write it. Knowing no one would understand why or how, but being sure that my perfect sunshine is very aware about it, and it waited a lifetime to read these exact words, in this exact day. And no other day would have been better than this one. Maybe it`s karma, who knows? Today i just felt free, and there is no one in this world that can judge me for my decisions, acts, or beliefs. No one.